The decision has been made and set in stone, Facebook shall be gone January 2nd, in the early morn.
To put things simply, it is way too dramatic for the things I’m going through at the moment. Granted it is a great tool for communication, but it is also a great tool for categorizing people and turning adulthood back to high school. Where the rejects feel more rejected, the popular crowds feel even more in control, and those that get left behind, feel even more useless then to begin with. No where near worth it.
For a large portion of my life, I have dedicated my time and patience to helping those that surround me in any way that I can. Whether it be giving someone a taste of their own medicine, being a temporary mother or just simply a shoulder to cry on, I was there as often as possible. But now that the tables have turned and I am the one in need of aid, suddenly, I have never felt more alone.
I try to reach out to those I am supposedly able to trust, ask to borrow a moment of their time after they stole hours of mine, and yet, I never seem to be good enough to do so. No matter how many times they tell me I can go to them with anything, whenever I am barely hanging onto the edge, somehow, it always reverts back to their life, their needs and their wants.
Luckily, I have my fiancee, Kevin, who is always more then willing to listen and help whenever I need it. But as far as “friends” go, I suppose we’ll see how many of those I truly have after I delete my Facebook and am no longer in constant reach.
I have a life of my own to deal with, have my own set of hustles which need to be jumped and plenty ocean’s needing to be swam across. There is no need for me to be holding up other people’s worlds when I can barely keep a grasp of my own.
Maybe now … the next time they want to ditch Kevin and I to have meaningless sex for 5 minutes then act as if nothing happened, they want to b!tch about how their life sucks when they have everything in the world, and next time when they want to just rant about how nothing goes their way despite the fact that they are spoiled brats … They’ll think twice and maybe consider the fact that all these pointless text messages && e-mails about what they had for lunch, where they’re going or that they’re busy with someone… Aren’t actually necessary.
Perhaps … They might even begin appreciating me as a human being, a person, a friend with actual emotions … rather than a robot who was built to be their personal therapist.